Sometimes I am unobservant

I should totally be working on my midterm paper due tomorrow, but I'm in the library and was amazed by the bookcases being colorful. I'm sure they were equally as colorful previously, but they delight me.

When I finish tests early I tend to worry

I'm sitting outside some sort of engineering class and I could've sworn I heard "frequency is a bitch" in the lecture, but as he moved on I realised he said "pitch" and then was saddened.

I should currently be reading for my next class, or studying for the test after that, or writing my paper due tonight, but I find it hard to do so when normally my first class wouldn't be over yet. Sure, I could use the extra time to my advantage, but all I'm thinking about is how I'm going to be sitting in this hallway for 2 1/2 hours.

Synchronized diving is cool, we should all do that

I am an Olympic artist

 I drew this while watching the men's synchronized springboard diving tonight. I can tell you are stunned by my artistic talent with Paint.

Now Bob Costas is talking about how Great Britain hasn't won enough medals. They're doing fine guys, don't be mean to Britain.

What's your least favorite part of the Olympics? Mine is the commercials that have the dramatic music and are like, "he can't change Washington, because he is Washington." I don't know who that was for, kind of makes me feel like the commercial didn't fulfill its purpose.

I've made a lot of knitting progress while watching sports that I suddenly care about for a few weeks and will never watch for the next four years. Beach volleyball looks cold there.

P&G IS A PROUD SPONSOR OF MOMS. Thought you'd like to know. Cause I'm not sure we've heard it enough every single commercial break.

I'm not used to watching commercials, they're getting to me.

I am unexpectedly watching water polo

I love the Olympics. You get to watch sports and things while faceless voices tell you everything you need to know about the teams and the sport and rules, and then later you repeat everything you heard to other people, who heard the exact same information, and yet you both get to pretend to be experts in all the Olympic events.

For instance, I don't know which of the gymnastic teams are expected to win, but now I know that Australia is really good and they are generally weak on the uneven bars, but they have one girl on the team mainly there because she  has clean lines, which is what judges look for. NO IDEA WHAT ALL THAT MEANS FOR MEDALS because, who knows what the preliminaries actually mean.

Oh and I watched the men's swimming relay preliminary, and then was surprised after that that the four swimmers who qualified would not swim the relay in the finals. I'm sure a real swimming fan would KNOW these things.

I am still watching water polo. I heard the words "power play" and now I'm just imagining hockey because that's the only context I've heard that phrase before. I still don't know the rules to this game. Is this deep water? How can they really tell who's on their team? Has any one ever pulled the swimsuit off an opposing team member during a water polo game?

I may genuinely be going insane

I watched an episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender, right, and then while I was waiting for the next one to load I started reading a Doctor Who book, the King's Dragon, and then when I went back to watching Avatar I was super confused as to why Amy and Rory were not there being sassy.

THEY'RE TOTALLY DIFFERENT TYPES OF MEDIA, I should be able to tell reading a book apart from watching a cartoon.

Oh, and I answered the phone many times today without telling you how scary it was.

This one lady called and asked for some dude whose name I do not know, and therefore he does not work there because I know everyone who works with me; most of them are related to me. I asked her to repeat the name, because I wanted to be sure, right, and then told her that there was no one there by that name and she possibly had the wrong number AND SHE GOT SO AFFRONTED WITH ME and was like "This is [Company where I am working], right?" and I was all, "let me connect you to Jane, hold please." All Jane did was assure her that no one by that name worked there and re-suggest that she had the wrong number.

Now I'm not so sure I used the word affronted properly in that paragraph. You know what I mean, even if the words are improperly used.

OK, I had a weird revelation about how writing things is like reading, only you get to create the entire world instead of borrow from someone else's, so then you can change it if something seems wrong, like a dream. I mean, it's obvious that's what writing is, but in terms of people writing fanfiction, they just want something in an existing fictional universe to have been written differently, or for there to be more of it, so they write it and it seems more true than if they just have a headcanon. But ALL writing is that, and that just amazes me.

I need to buy fruit and milk, but because those are the only two things on my grocery list, and technically I have milk, just I don't like it cause it's 2%, so I really only need fruit, and let's be honest, I don't really need fruit, looks like I'm not going to the store.

That was a run on sentence. It kind of bothers me, but instead of figuring out where it went downhill I'm just going to tell you that it is bad and assure you that if I was writing a paper I would've written that much better.

Oh, but I'm running low on Dr. Pepper, so I'll have to go to the store soon, don't worry.

I am totally working, but my Spider Solitaire stats are really sad

I win a little less than half of my Spider Solitaire games, 48%. How sad is that. I think I've gotten bored of it and have stopped trying to think ahead, because it used to be about 60%.

I've done a bunch of work today, but also had a lot of time OH MY GOD THE PHONE IS RINGING

I answered the phone. Don't worry. I was going to say that I had a lot of time to do random stuff online or something, but then the phone rang and I panicked.

I just did an entire order start to finish, from answering the goddamn phone to all the goddamn scary things while on the phone and I ran the credit card and I emailed him the paid invoice and I printed out the UPS label and packaged it up and it's READY TO BE SHIPPED TOMORROW GODDAMMIT. I'm fine.

Don't get me wrong, I do a lot of orders throughout the day, but usually they come from the website and I just print out the orders and do a bunch at a time and there are no phones involved.

Someone just called to ask if the Chlorine Test Strips were really 29.95 like the website said, and then when I assured him they were, he was like "are you sure?" Yes, yes I was sure. And then he mumbled something about 30 cents per strip and hung up. Oh, he wanted to know the model number too for some reason. I don't even know what that means. They're strips of paper, they don't have a model number... oh and he asked if we were a factory. Why do phones exist? (moral of the story, I am not cut out to deal with phones, however, I was very polite to the guy so really it was a successful call)

I read BBCnews at work

Maybe I'm turning into Christine while she's on vacation, I don't know. MAYBE.

But anyway, I was surprised to see a Megaupload headline today. I had all but forgotten about them. Apparently they were only shut down in January, but it feels like it's been gone forever. Though, I did just delete a masterpost from my Tumblr likes that had all dead Megaupload links.

Also his name is Kim Dotcom. At what age did he change his name to Dotcom, and why is this the first time I noticed it.

Also either Steve Wozniak is really short or Kim Dotcom is really tall.

The Caloosahatchee River is a real place, and a teen got his arm bitten off by an alligator. My favorite part of the article is that they caught and killed the alligator responsible, as though that particular alligator is more of a dangerous alligator than any other alligator that has not yet eaten someone's arm. I don't know, are alligators one of the animals that can develop a taste for human after they've eaten it? I didn't think so, cause they don't often bite humans.

It's lunchtime now, but Steve has come to the office and Jane is dealing with him and is on the phone with the computer people so I feel like I need to stay at the front desk. It's just me and Jane in the office today. I'm answering the phone now guys. I answer the goddamn phone. Most of the time I just put them on hold for Jane, but it has been my cousin before, and once it was my Grammy inviting me to dinner tomorrow.

Manda's moving to New Jersey before I move back to Nebraska, so I'm not going to see her for awhile. And then when I get back to Lincoln Christine and Lindy will be all moved into our apartment and I'm going to be like WHAT IS MOVING. Oh god. (secretly mad at them for making me move again) (not actually mad)

Night time driving is interesting

First of all, driving on a road, 55 mph, right? And the road has bumps you know, regularly, as the sections of the road make a slight noise when you drive over them. Suddenly, my cd is playing the Road Runner theme, and the bumps are EXACTLY IN SYNC WITH THE BEAT OF THE THEME and it stayed like that the entire song. So impressed with the universe right then.

Second, driving on a dark road, seeing a single flashing red light in the distance but not knowing how far away it is or what it signifies is really creepy. It was a red flashy thing at a four way stop, which I knew was there but didn't realise there was a light for it.

And thirdly, singing along with Josh Grobin and also Britney Spears while driving alone at night on a largely empty road in the country is super fun.

Also, I like sushi. Had it today. They didn't have Dr. Pepper, but the sushi was good nonetheless.

I feel like I'm dying

Ever since I got home and ate dinner I've been holed up in my room. Not hiding exactly, just, not being super sociable. At all sociable. I said hi to the cat that hates me, that totally counts. She ran and hid, because I am a scary person and I have stolen her room.

AND NOW PIT IS GONNA DIE AND PIGGY IS SO SAD. Pit and Piggy are strange nicknames for Chinese warriors. I kind of wish I had the first half to this movie. Two of my favorite parts are on that half. Sigh.

I have been planning on going to a movie tomorrow morning for a whole week. Now I'm like NEVER LEAVING THIS ROOM but that's not a good plan at all.

My Mommy just called me. Wait, she texted me, I called her. I remember trying to figure out the buttons to call people. I don't use the phone for that a lot.

DON'T PULL THE ARROW OUT THAT WAY OW.

I found an email from myself to myself with the subject

Him a time period like history from 1800-present

" I am alternatingly tormented by what my life is and what it isnt. One thing i know for sure: i am so tired."

That is all.

Living dangerously

I was walking down the stairs carrying dishes in both hands, and I don't turn on any lights because lights are difficult, also, don't know where the switches are, when I thought that if I were to trip and fall down the stairs it would be sad cause I'd like wake up in the morning late for work, and I might break the dishes, and what if I tripped over the cat and hurt it, right? But then I realised that the thing I would be most sad about is that I have an episode of Supernatural loading on my computer on hulu, and those things take awhile to buffer, and I'd not be able to watch it if I fell on the stairs and lied there unconscious for the night.

I'm only 1.5 episodes behind in Supernatural now.

I don't wanna go to work tomorrow. I sense this might become a recurring theme.

It might be late. Is it late? It's a little late. Whatever.

I don't want to

I have to go to work at 8:30 tomorrow. We went to see the office today, make sure I knew where it is and stuff. My uncle gave us a tour, and the room that he said I might be in doesn't have a desk in it, but he said they would get one. Sounds like they don't know exactly what I'll be doing, but I'm going to be trained in lots of things sounds like. My aunt, who is going to be training me, wasn't there today.

IT'S JUST SO NERVE WRACKING IS ALL.

I haven't watched the LAST THREE EPISODES of Supernatural, nor the season finale of Once Upon a Time or Fringe or I'm sure other shows, but the point is I'M SO BEHIND ON TELEVISION I WANT TO DIE.

But I set up wifi in this house, so that's good now. I'm laying in bed on my computer using the internet, haven't been able to do that in a long while now.

Oh, btdubs, Alaska was lovely.

I'm standing on a glacier

Alaska was 2 hours earlier than Nebraska, and now I'm in Michigan which is one hour later, so I lost three hours in the last few days. Sigh. And I have to get up in the morning early so I have to go to bed even though I don't get tired till later.

Oh look, we're standing on our balcony and seeing ocean and mountains and snow and stuff.

RAM stands for Random Access Memory

Not for Random Ass Memories.

See, a widget on my PC is a CPU monitor thing and there's thing for RAM: Random Access Memory, but I was like, random-ass memory?

I can't sleep.

What is the world coming to? When I, queen of sleeping, cannot sleep for any amount of time, the world must be ending.

So I don't feel well, and it's all my fault, what of it?

My heart hurts and my stomach hurts and my head hurts. WHAT, ARE YOU SAYING I SHOULD GO TO BED AND GET SLEEP? WHAT?

I am working on a paper thing. Don't know why, it's not long or overdue, it's just now is the time to finish this up for some reason.

I watched 101 Dalmations. That was fun.

I kind of want to go to bed, but it's so tall, and I also am like, but, I could just write this and then it'd be done.

BUT THEN, I remembered fucking Thursday, and how I have a test taht I'm going to fail and how C is due Friday and how I probably failed my English paper and then the paper I'm writing now is for my Crim class and ALL MY CLASSES ARE GOING TO BE FAILED AND I AM A FAILURE AND OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO BE LIVING IN MICHIGAN FOR THE SUMMER.

Those are not all related ideas. I am panicking a lot more than I need to about all the things. It is because I am ridiculous also, not sleeping.

And there are so many things in the future that I am looking forward to, I just can't think about them and not panic. Like, celebrating Manda's birthday, funtimes, going to Omaha and getting people to buy me food also Berkshire Hathaway stuff or whatever, funtimes, going on a fucking cruise to Alaska, awesomefuntimes probably, going on a helicopter in Alaska, supercoldfuntimes. See, lots of fun times, but before them, all of the panic and a little bit of the shame/fear that I did super poorly in all of my classes.

Remember, hey guys, remember when, remember the good old days, when I was like, a GOOD student?

So the corner of my poster just fell down a bit, so I got up to fix it and said, "After all this time?" and automatically replied to myself, "Always." And then I couldn't stop laughing as I affixed the poster back to the wall.

I don't, there are no words.

I am crying about Fringe

Oh my god Fringe, I called it way at the beginning of course, but STILL. Peter's FACE and then that HUG and I'm just so WORRIED and where is OLIVIA. Oh my GOD.

Later:

I may have fallen asleep in the cave with my lights on. Ok, I did, and now it's 4:40 and I don't want to get up and get in bed but I totally should because my back is going to hurt tomorrow if I continue to sleep like this.

I was doing so well

I have most of my paper done. I have a whole bunch of notes on what I need to say, I have at least half the paper in actual, formal, typed up paragraph form, I have  some ideas started being typed and then left there as paragraph fragments to be picked up and combined and shit.

But now I'm cold and hungry and I don't want to and Tumblr's dead and I have 5 songs on repeat on my iTunes and I don't remember how to things and my hair is suddenly very fascinating how it is able to do things when it is wet and then it dried and stayed that way and now I want to sleep with a pencil in my hair so I can wear it like this, but then I would probably stab myself with it and Christine would be mad that I killed myself with a pencil in my sleep.

Well, maybe someone else would care. I don't know, I would be dead in this scenario.

Anne's totes still awake.

I don't think I have any good snack foods here, so that would kill the go eat food to procrastinate plan.

Well, there are peanuts. I have so many peanuts. I hoard them, possibly in case we get attacked by people who are allergic and then I could throw them and run away while they go into anaphylactic shock.

I just kind of want noodles. :(

Oh god I cannot do... things

If I wasn't so afraid of things, and people, and talking, and if I was funny, I just really want to be a comedian.

I've attempted to french braid my hair. My hair is not cooperative. It was ok for the first minute, but now it's all, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS and decided to become a weird mess of not a french braid.

I'm writing in Written? Kitten!, a website, writtenkitten.net, that counts your words and then give you  a kitten once you've reached 100 or whatever, but I have yet to reach 100, so I don't even know what the kitten looks like. Also I don't want to write more words.

I've left this open for a long time, so I have written more words now. There is now a picture of a kitty next to my paragraphs of words. I'm sad that when I rolled over to 200 it was just a different kitten instead of 2 kittens. I was hoping for a whole bunch of kittens all over the page by the time I was done.

Use writtenkitten.net guys. If you close the tab, and then go back to the site in a new tab, the text is still there, so that's awesome. Though, do copy and paste into a Word document every once in awhile. Save save save you know. It's like Location location location, but shorter, and less famous.

How late is too late for potstickers?

I am hungry, man. I first typed hungery, and then I realised that it is 1:16, also that I have to get up tomorrow. Also, tornadoes.

People should use that line more often: "I think it's time we settle our differences. Violently."

I can't count

I'm knitting, right, one two three, one two three, over and over, and then I'm like, one two three four five six, oh wait, what am I counting to? Three. Right. Missed it. Damn.

I hope this doesn't mean that all the productive things I've actually done today have been wrong and stuff, because my brain doesn't work.

First of all, I'd just like to say that I didn't recognise the name Niall to be a real thing until about two weeks ago, but now I learn that an actor I have known for awhile is named Niall Matter and he's going to be on Primeval, which of course means I'm going to have to start watching it again. And then I will inevitably stop, again, like every other time I have randomly started watching Primeval because I thought I could handle it. I can't. No idea why, I don't even hate it, I just can't watch it even though I really like the actors and characters and dinosaurs.

The other Niall, of course, being from One Direction. He's Irish.

It's not that I hate Rome, I just hold a grudge against their history.

There are free root beer floats in Oldfather tomorrow (today) from 12-2, so if this gets read before then and we're not planning on going to get free root beer floats, WHY NOT, US?

I really like root beer floats.

How great would it be to be a British comedian though? They get to do all sorts of sketches, and panel shows with other comedians where they go on tangents and ignore the point of the show, and then they do guest spots on British shows like Doctor Who and stuff and are generally hilarious.

I keep knitting, and it's really disturbing to me every time I finish a row I have to flip the ENTIRE thing. It makes me want to try to knit backwards so I don't have to move it.

I want to read Catching Fire, again, even though I just read Catching Fire and Mockingjay this past Saturday through Monday.

I just heard the door. Did someone just leave?

Ooooooo, just found an episode of Talkin' About Your Generation on youtube that I haven't seen and I'm watching it and I love TAYG. So, amending previous statement about British comedians to include Australians. Nothing against American comedians, I just can't think of any that I like... Tiny Fey, Amy Poehler, that's it, but they're not even comedians exactly, they're actors, so, confused.

I got two hours of sleep last night

And then kind of fell asleep in church a bit

When I was bringing my groceries and things in from the parking lot I dropped all my groceries all in the foyer of the Courtyards and my container of ham from Easter opened and fell onto the mat but I still ate it for dinner because I decided that it probably won't kill me. If it does, less problems for me.

And now my cake is smashed.

I just hate everything.

I'm hungry

I thought I'd never be hungry again, but I am hungry now and I hate all the things.

Of course, three in the morning would be when I decide to evaluate my life and what I want to do and what kind of job I want and am going to be qualified for and how I am hopeless goddamnit. I have no skills and I am too afraid of people to survive in the world.

Oh man, this unsub is going to kill his sister. That sucks. I'm watching Criminal Minds and knitting, because obviously that will solve all my problems.

I am super psychotic, oh god.

Fo' Sho'

All day long I'm thinking about Drawing Something, and all night long I'm thinking about Drawing Something [repeat forever, chanting, not singing, because we're too cool for singing].

I don't even know.

You know what I do know? Being Human UK feels suck. Nobody even watches it, and yet I'm all FLAIL WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT and then you're all, get a grip Mary.

Also, I like One Direction. So sue me.

Call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me

DOESN'T MATTER WHERE DOESN'T MATTER WHEN (doesn't matter wheeeen) I WILL BE THERE FOR YOU TILL THE VERY EEEEND. (till the very end!) DANGER OR TROUBLE: I'M THERE ON THE DOUBLE, YOU KNOW THAT YOU ALWAYS CAN CALL KIM POSSIBLE!

Do you have any idea how hard it is to sleep with the My Little Pony song stuck in your head?

MY LITTLE PONY

I USED TO WONDER WHAT FRIENDSHIP COULD BEEEE

MY LITTLE PONY

UNTIL YOU ALL SHARED IT'S MAGIC WITH ME

Yes, I am still awake. No, I don't really want to be. Yes, my parents are coming home today. No, the house is not in impeccable shape.

Remember that picture of a goat on a mountain side

Where it's just captioned OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

edit: (found it)

Remember that?

That is me.

My lungs hurt. I would say my stomach, but my stomach is not on both sides of my ribcage separated by an area that is impervious to pain. MY LUNGS HAVE A STOMACH ACHE. I don't understand.

IS IT THURSDAY ALREADY? OH GOD.

I stopped watching the show Grimm earlier this year because it was really dark and not interesting enough, but then I decided, why the hell not, so now I'm watching again. I love how Nick hides his friendship with Monroe and it's like he's covering up an affair but really they just aren't supposed to know each other. They even have scenes where Nick's on the phone and you assume the conversation was with his girlfriend, but then it cuts to him eating dinner with Monroe and it's so great and none of this makes any sense. Sure, every once in awhile there's something really gross that makes me hide all the tabs so I don't have to look at the grossocity of it all, but small price to pay. At least I haven't made the classic Fringe/Bones mistake of eating while watching it.

The more I have to do, the less I want to do

And then I feel like a horrible person that doesn't do anything, and then I continue to not do anything. And then I feel worse, and do less.

Right now I'm just freaking out about Being Human (UK) because I think next week is the season finale and I'm not ready and I just spent the last hour watching this last episode and going "Hal, baby, no, Hal, oh Hal, don't do it. Hal, don't be an idiot. Hal. Oh Hal." And then weeping dramatically into my pillow.

So maybe I'm a drama queen, what of it?

Apparently this is what I do now. I watch emotionally scarring things and then feel empty inside and then watch some more traumatising things and then weep forever and then watch Pride & Prejudice. Pride & Prejudice always seems to be involved. For awhile there it was Secondhand Lions, but then it went back to Pride & Prejudice. There was also an Inception period, and a Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy period. Not to mention the Batman Era. Thing about the Batman Era, it was both the emotionally scarring thing and the post emotionally scarring thing, so it isn't exactly the same as the Benedict Cumberbatch All The Sads leading to Pride & Prejudice.

AND NOW I'VE GONE AND WATCHED INSEPARABLE AGAIN, JERKS. I don't know who I'm blaming. Blame my parents, they left me here.

Stream of consciousness, how very Modernist of me

When does Supernatural come back? The 16th, fuck no. Fuck that shit. If a narrator never says his/her gender, do I have to keep repeating "the narrator, the narrator?" Can I call the narrator "it" sometimes? Is that disrespectful? Like if you call your baby an it before you know it's gender? Is that bad? Babies, oh god, hormones, bro, babies, you don't understand bro, babies.

I stopped working on this goddamn paper because I have to go to the bathroom, but I don't want to get up because I like sitting down, but I can't work on the paper organizing while I'm distracted by having to go to the bathroom, so I'm not doing anything, except wanting to sing along with this recording of a live Mountain Goats concert event thing. Some of these songs I even know when the audience goes WOOT or like, yells out names of songs that they want to be played but then aren't. Or like, on The Monkey Song, it takes a few bars before they realise what song it is and then once they do they freak out a ton. I mean, yeah, it's the Monkey Song, so I would too, because there's a monkey in the basement.

I am not good at paper writing, I am good at procrastinating

And pretending. I am super good at pretending I have things done.

Also, I am super good at drinking Dr. Pepper. It's not even Dr. Choice this week, guys. It's the real thing. (whoa man, right?)

How late is acceptable to be working on this?

And at what point should alcohol be introduced? (KIDDING, jeez, don't worry about me, I have yet to become an alcoholic writer. Or a hipster, coffee drinking writer. Or a person who writes things in a timely manner.)

There's a hole in my foot

But it doesn't even hurt or look red or anything, so that's good.

Also, is Benedict going to be in Doctor Who or not? Because I keep seeing things saying he's going to be the Master, but I haven't seen a BBC thing or a real, credible source, and I just want him to be in Doctor Who alright? He'd probably make an excellent Master, but think, he could be a fantastic alien, or COMPANION or alien companion. We haven't had a companion from a different planet or time period in a LONG while. Certainly not in NuWho. What, like, Adric and Nyssa? Fifth Doctor? Is that seriously the last time there was a companion from a different planet? I don't know, last one I remember off the top of my head. Oh, and that chameleon robot guy thing... didn't actually watch that I don't think. We could count Jamie, the Second Doctor's companion who is from the past, since the Sixth Doctor ran into him in the Two Doctors. In conclusion, Jamie was the bestest.

You know, I hadn't actually watched anything Lee Pace was in

Except Pushing Daisies, of course, but not all of that because I suck. But he's famous for The Fall, which I still haven't watched, but it looks lovely on Tumblr. I say all this because I am currently finishing up Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, and it's adorable.

Why do I always end up watching movies that aren't even on my list of things I want to watch? Every time. I make these lists so that I remember that these are things people talk about or that look good, but then when I go to watch things it's something random that I saw one reference to once so I decide to watch it. For Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day it was the quote about needing the ice pick for murder, not ice.

SIMILARLY, not really but it reminded me, I was talking to a girl in my English class, because I do that, I'm sociable, and we were talking about the story, and I told her that the moment where the woman in the story went to the store to buy arsenic was the moment when I decided I liked the story because I happen to love arsenic. She thought she had misheard me, because she thought I said that I loved arsenic, and I do. I happen to really like arsenic, it's my fave.

Um, my ankle is leaking... is this normal?

Also, should I be more careful about my opinions and stuff I type at 2 in the morning? Because the German commenter yesterday does not like me existing. Seriously though? How the hell do people find this? And why would they care what I say? I do not claim to be a real blogger. MY BACKGROUND IS LITERALLY A RANDOM REPEATING PICTURE OF A ROBIN. I AM JUST THAT QUALITY.

Benedict Cumberbatch plays the most tragic of roles.

Although, possibly the most tragic part of him as Van Gogh is that beard. What is that Benny? It's scary, that's what that is.

No, but Third Star and Hawking and Inseparable and Sherlock and Van Gogh Painted with Words (even to some extent Stuart, A Life Backwards.) All of the sads, also all the awards.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is not tragic for Benny, however he does have a good cry in it that breaks the heart.

Bitches

I am not going to bleed to death guys. IT'S HARDLY ANY BLOOD AT ALL IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS.

Edit:

To be fair, my foot does hurt like a mother fucker now. I blame the elevating it. There is no way my foot will stay elevated while I sleep: fair warning.

You don't just walk away from dismemberment

There were surprise dinner guests tonight and I had a panic attack and it was scary and there wasn't enough food so my mom didn't even get a cheeseburger and we were planning on eating banana bread, right, but then it was like, oh, but more people, so also chips and salsa and guacamole and apple sauce. And the kid mixed root beer with milk. And then drank it. Why the hell.

All I want from life is a job where I work like 9-5 and get weekends off and can sit at home and be eccentric most of the time and don't have to have people over if I don't want to but then can have people over that I like but have the ability to decide which ones come over.

Oh Tumblr

Do you know how many pages in my likes on Tumblr I have to go back before it's not predominantly Sherlock? I don't, because I don't have the patience to go back that far. So many Sherlock things and Benedict things. I have 1,127 likes on Tumblr and 9 different accounts I post things to. Oh god.

Also, watched the Sherlock pilot again today and then watched Batman and now I don't remember what day it is.

I want to be an elf at the north pole and make toys. Can we do that? Or I could train the reindeer. I'm great with animals. Reindeer would freaking love me.

I am not insane

I don't know what is more insane though, the places Hogan's Heroes decides to put the laugh track, or me talking to it, telling it that nothing funny has happened. It will be like, Carter throws a radio into the truck, *laugh laugh laugh*, we see Kinch throw a radio outside the fence, *laugh laugh laugh*. It's not like we don't know what they're doing, they're following a brilliant, but apparently funny plan.

It is a great show though.

Nobody even reads these anymore

And what flavor is Squirt supposed to be?

I want eggs.

Or noodles.

damn

I'm watching Sherlock Holmes

Not the one you think. An old one that I bought and am now watching. Lucky is not amused. She is distressed because she can't find mommy and I am here and she doesn't know how to take it. Whenever I move she gets up and makes lots of noise.

This Sherlock seems much younger than this John. Also, they just got caught trespassing. Suckers.

Don't worry, they're not dead.

This Lestrade is thick and I don't like him. He just wants to hang this girl because she's a jailbird and therefore obviously guilty. Psh.

I'm wearing a dress guys. Wearing. A. Dress. All day. That might be another reason Lucky doesn't understand what's happening. I'm wearing super fashionable striped knee high socks now, so obviously my outfit is classy.

Aw, puppy is sitting by Mom's chair because whenever she sits there Mom always comes and sits down and tells her to move. Not going to happen tonight puppy.

I was going to write a paper, but it turns out I did not bring my notebook with those notes so now I am not motivated to write it at all. Dammit.

Why would Sherlock wear a deerstalker? What is it, some kind of death frisbee?

I ate broccoli today and I can still taste it

I did in fact eat a vegetable, you read that right.

Also, fucking clowns, man, they're scary.

I still have all the Benedict Cumberbatch feels. His face makes me cry, I am not even joking. My tumblr dash is riddled with things that make my face contort and strange noises to come from my throat. Also, the tears. And then people are commenting on gifs from Third Star about how Benny's such a child and how they can't believe he's still single and I'm just here yelling at them to shut the fuck up because those gifs are not happy gifs, they are the saddest gifs in history.

I have issues. No te preocupes.

How many Tumblr tabs am I allowed to have open?

Because everytime I refresh and there's nothing new I tend to hit command+T and hit my tumblr bookmark, meaning I always have at least 3 tumblr tabs open before I realise it and close the extra ones.

I'm watching Third Star and it's so sad and happy and sad and Benedict Cumberbatch and fireworks and third star to the right and straight on till morning and sad. That doesn't really explain what it is at all, but I've never been good at explanations for things I'm emotional about. Go ahead, ask me what happens in Supernatural. (THE ANGELS ARE BASTARDS AND THE GODDAMN LEVIATHANS AND THEY JUST WANT TO BE A FAMILY AND BOBBBYYYYYYY.) Or, or, ask me how Sherlock ended. (WEEEEEEEEEEEEP, HE SAID THE CALL WAS HIS NOTE AND JOHN'S FACE AND HE JUST WANTED HIM TO STOP IT AND THEN HE WAS A JERK THREE YEARRSSSSSSS.)

OH GOD, JUST WAIT TILL THIS IS OVER, HE'S MAKING THE "I DON'T WANT TO DIE" SPEECH AND OH GOD BENEDICT.

It's so weird that Benedict is a ginger but he dyes his hair for most of his roles, or maybe for most of his life. I don't know.



Edit later:

I FUCKING FINISHED THE GODDAMN MOVIE AND I  WATCHED THE ENTIRE CREDITS AND HAD A LONG CRY AND ALL THE SADS. Now I'm watching the sixth and final section of Pride and Prejudice, the one with Colin Firth of course. It's going to cheer me up. Or I'm going to fling myself off this bed in a fit of hysteria.

I Know the Difference Between Real Life and Television

Look at that face. Do you see those emotions? DO YOU?

I just DON'T CARE ANYMORE. Sherlock is so great and then it TEARS MY SOUL OUT AND SHREDS IT TO MINISCULE PIECES AND THROWS IT AROUND LIKE GRAFFITI.

Ok, I'm going to bed.

Really, I am.

I will never stop being emotional about Sherlock though. You can't make me.

Oh god Sherlock

oh god oh god oh god

I'm rewatching it. Because for most of the episode, The Reichenbach Fall is just a lovely episode full of loveliness and fun and Sherlock and John being amazing and Moriarty being badass and it's generally great, but then I remember that I have to wait for freaking ever for the return and all my emotions ALL MY EMOTIONS. Goddammit Benedict and Martin, why do you have to be in such high demand that we don't even know when they could film series 3?

School started guys

I've been busy.

Mostly I've been busy freaking out and becoming super depressed. Observe:

You only live once - that's one too many times.
Live every day like it's  your last - it's good to have some hope.
Believe in yourself - if those stupid people over there can survive so can you.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life - and is one day closer to death.
It's the little things in life - fuck the police.

That last one kind of broke the mold, but am I bothered? No, and you know why? Apathy.