Tomorrow, as in later today

Grad. U. A. Tion.

 In my head there were more swear words mixed in there, but we're playing it cool for the interwebs.

 It'd be exciting, except it's outside in the cold and rain and it's going to be hectic and there's no assigned seating cause we're not lining up and walking in alphabetical order so I don't know who I'm going to sit by and it's going to take forever. I'm not freaking out. I wrote a note to my dad for tomorrow saying that we're going to be flexible wexible, so WE'RE GOING TO BE FLEXIBLE OKAY. I'm fine. Look at me, you can't see me, but I'm fine.

I have a really fancy dress that I like a lot so that's exciting. Have to wear a coat under my grad gown thing, but hey, flexible. Plus, coat means pockets for my phone. Boom, problem solved.

I wish graduating didn't make people talk about jobs and careers and goals and such so much. The only things I like are fictional, dammit. Even real jobs, I only like them fictionally. Literally took my grandparents 3 minutes after walking in the door to ask me what I was doing after graduation. And then I didn't know how to explain a potential job not in my degree that I might get in a few months cause it's a concept they found difficult to grasp. Either I went to college and got a job because of it or I didn't. Basically I'm a failure.

It think tigers are my favorite big cat. I mean, leopards are cool and all, but tigers, man. The white ones, I think they're Siberian, they look like they'd be badass after they got covered in blood, but also they're cute.

Sometimes I am unobservant

I should totally be working on my midterm paper due tomorrow, but I'm in the library and was amazed by the bookcases being colorful. I'm sure they were equally as colorful previously, but they delight me.

When I finish tests early I tend to worry

I'm sitting outside some sort of engineering class and I could've sworn I heard "frequency is a bitch" in the lecture, but as he moved on I realised he said "pitch" and then was saddened.

I should currently be reading for my next class, or studying for the test after that, or writing my paper due tonight, but I find it hard to do so when normally my first class wouldn't be over yet. Sure, I could use the extra time to my advantage, but all I'm thinking about is how I'm going to be sitting in this hallway for 2 1/2 hours.

RAM stands for Random Access Memory

Not for Random Ass Memories.

See, a widget on my PC is a CPU monitor thing and there's thing for RAM: Random Access Memory, but I was like, random-ass memory?

I can't sleep.

What is the world coming to? When I, queen of sleeping, cannot sleep for any amount of time, the world must be ending.

So I don't feel well, and it's all my fault, what of it?

My heart hurts and my stomach hurts and my head hurts. WHAT, ARE YOU SAYING I SHOULD GO TO BED AND GET SLEEP? WHAT?

I am working on a paper thing. Don't know why, it's not long or overdue, it's just now is the time to finish this up for some reason.

I watched 101 Dalmations. That was fun.

I kind of want to go to bed, but it's so tall, and I also am like, but, I could just write this and then it'd be done.

BUT THEN, I remembered fucking Thursday, and how I have a test taht I'm going to fail and how C is due Friday and how I probably failed my English paper and then the paper I'm writing now is for my Crim class and ALL MY CLASSES ARE GOING TO BE FAILED AND I AM A FAILURE AND OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO BE LIVING IN MICHIGAN FOR THE SUMMER.

Those are not all related ideas. I am panicking a lot more than I need to about all the things. It is because I am ridiculous also, not sleeping.

And there are so many things in the future that I am looking forward to, I just can't think about them and not panic. Like, celebrating Manda's birthday, funtimes, going to Omaha and getting people to buy me food also Berkshire Hathaway stuff or whatever, funtimes, going on a fucking cruise to Alaska, awesomefuntimes probably, going on a helicopter in Alaska, supercoldfuntimes. See, lots of fun times, but before them, all of the panic and a little bit of the shame/fear that I did super poorly in all of my classes.

Remember, hey guys, remember when, remember the good old days, when I was like, a GOOD student?

So the corner of my poster just fell down a bit, so I got up to fix it and said, "After all this time?" and automatically replied to myself, "Always." And then I couldn't stop laughing as I affixed the poster back to the wall.

I don't, there are no words.

I am crying about Fringe

Oh my god Fringe, I called it way at the beginning of course, but STILL. Peter's FACE and then that HUG and I'm just so WORRIED and where is OLIVIA. Oh my GOD.

Later:

I may have fallen asleep in the cave with my lights on. Ok, I did, and now it's 4:40 and I don't want to get up and get in bed but I totally should because my back is going to hurt tomorrow if I continue to sleep like this.

I was doing so well

I have most of my paper done. I have a whole bunch of notes on what I need to say, I have at least half the paper in actual, formal, typed up paragraph form, I have  some ideas started being typed and then left there as paragraph fragments to be picked up and combined and shit.

But now I'm cold and hungry and I don't want to and Tumblr's dead and I have 5 songs on repeat on my iTunes and I don't remember how to things and my hair is suddenly very fascinating how it is able to do things when it is wet and then it dried and stayed that way and now I want to sleep with a pencil in my hair so I can wear it like this, but then I would probably stab myself with it and Christine would be mad that I killed myself with a pencil in my sleep.

Well, maybe someone else would care. I don't know, I would be dead in this scenario.

Anne's totes still awake.

I don't think I have any good snack foods here, so that would kill the go eat food to procrastinate plan.

Well, there are peanuts. I have so many peanuts. I hoard them, possibly in case we get attacked by people who are allergic and then I could throw them and run away while they go into anaphylactic shock.

I just kind of want noodles. :(

Oh god I cannot do... things

If I wasn't so afraid of things, and people, and talking, and if I was funny, I just really want to be a comedian.

I've attempted to french braid my hair. My hair is not cooperative. It was ok for the first minute, but now it's all, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS and decided to become a weird mess of not a french braid.

I'm writing in Written? Kitten!, a website, writtenkitten.net, that counts your words and then give you  a kitten once you've reached 100 or whatever, but I have yet to reach 100, so I don't even know what the kitten looks like. Also I don't want to write more words.

I've left this open for a long time, so I have written more words now. There is now a picture of a kitty next to my paragraphs of words. I'm sad that when I rolled over to 200 it was just a different kitten instead of 2 kittens. I was hoping for a whole bunch of kittens all over the page by the time I was done.

Use writtenkitten.net guys. If you close the tab, and then go back to the site in a new tab, the text is still there, so that's awesome. Though, do copy and paste into a Word document every once in awhile. Save save save you know. It's like Location location location, but shorter, and less famous.

How late is too late for potstickers?

I am hungry, man. I first typed hungery, and then I realised that it is 1:16, also that I have to get up tomorrow. Also, tornadoes.

People should use that line more often: "I think it's time we settle our differences. Violently."

I can't count

I'm knitting, right, one two three, one two three, over and over, and then I'm like, one two three four five six, oh wait, what am I counting to? Three. Right. Missed it. Damn.

I hope this doesn't mean that all the productive things I've actually done today have been wrong and stuff, because my brain doesn't work.

First of all, I'd just like to say that I didn't recognise the name Niall to be a real thing until about two weeks ago, but now I learn that an actor I have known for awhile is named Niall Matter and he's going to be on Primeval, which of course means I'm going to have to start watching it again. And then I will inevitably stop, again, like every other time I have randomly started watching Primeval because I thought I could handle it. I can't. No idea why, I don't even hate it, I just can't watch it even though I really like the actors and characters and dinosaurs.

The other Niall, of course, being from One Direction. He's Irish.

It's not that I hate Rome, I just hold a grudge against their history.

There are free root beer floats in Oldfather tomorrow (today) from 12-2, so if this gets read before then and we're not planning on going to get free root beer floats, WHY NOT, US?

I really like root beer floats.

How great would it be to be a British comedian though? They get to do all sorts of sketches, and panel shows with other comedians where they go on tangents and ignore the point of the show, and then they do guest spots on British shows like Doctor Who and stuff and are generally hilarious.

I keep knitting, and it's really disturbing to me every time I finish a row I have to flip the ENTIRE thing. It makes me want to try to knit backwards so I don't have to move it.

I want to read Catching Fire, again, even though I just read Catching Fire and Mockingjay this past Saturday through Monday.

I just heard the door. Did someone just leave?

Ooooooo, just found an episode of Talkin' About Your Generation on youtube that I haven't seen and I'm watching it and I love TAYG. So, amending previous statement about British comedians to include Australians. Nothing against American comedians, I just can't think of any that I like... Tiny Fey, Amy Poehler, that's it, but they're not even comedians exactly, they're actors, so, confused.

I got two hours of sleep last night

And then kind of fell asleep in church a bit

When I was bringing my groceries and things in from the parking lot I dropped all my groceries all in the foyer of the Courtyards and my container of ham from Easter opened and fell onto the mat but I still ate it for dinner because I decided that it probably won't kill me. If it does, less problems for me.

And now my cake is smashed.

I just hate everything.

I'm hungry

I thought I'd never be hungry again, but I am hungry now and I hate all the things.

Of course, three in the morning would be when I decide to evaluate my life and what I want to do and what kind of job I want and am going to be qualified for and how I am hopeless goddamnit. I have no skills and I am too afraid of people to survive in the world.

Oh man, this unsub is going to kill his sister. That sucks. I'm watching Criminal Minds and knitting, because obviously that will solve all my problems.

I am super psychotic, oh god.

Fo' Sho'

All day long I'm thinking about Drawing Something, and all night long I'm thinking about Drawing Something [repeat forever, chanting, not singing, because we're too cool for singing].

I don't even know.

You know what I do know? Being Human UK feels suck. Nobody even watches it, and yet I'm all FLAIL WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT and then you're all, get a grip Mary.

Also, I like One Direction. So sue me.

Call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me

DOESN'T MATTER WHERE DOESN'T MATTER WHEN (doesn't matter wheeeen) I WILL BE THERE FOR YOU TILL THE VERY EEEEND. (till the very end!) DANGER OR TROUBLE: I'M THERE ON THE DOUBLE, YOU KNOW THAT YOU ALWAYS CAN CALL KIM POSSIBLE!

Stream of consciousness, how very Modernist of me

When does Supernatural come back? The 16th, fuck no. Fuck that shit. If a narrator never says his/her gender, do I have to keep repeating "the narrator, the narrator?" Can I call the narrator "it" sometimes? Is that disrespectful? Like if you call your baby an it before you know it's gender? Is that bad? Babies, oh god, hormones, bro, babies, you don't understand bro, babies.

I stopped working on this goddamn paper because I have to go to the bathroom, but I don't want to get up because I like sitting down, but I can't work on the paper organizing while I'm distracted by having to go to the bathroom, so I'm not doing anything, except wanting to sing along with this recording of a live Mountain Goats concert event thing. Some of these songs I even know when the audience goes WOOT or like, yells out names of songs that they want to be played but then aren't. Or like, on The Monkey Song, it takes a few bars before they realise what song it is and then once they do they freak out a ton. I mean, yeah, it's the Monkey Song, so I would too, because there's a monkey in the basement.

I am not good at paper writing, I am good at procrastinating

And pretending. I am super good at pretending I have things done.

Also, I am super good at drinking Dr. Pepper. It's not even Dr. Choice this week, guys. It's the real thing. (whoa man, right?)

How late is acceptable to be working on this?

And at what point should alcohol be introduced? (KIDDING, jeez, don't worry about me, I have yet to become an alcoholic writer. Or a hipster, coffee drinking writer. Or a person who writes things in a timely manner.)

There's a hole in my foot

But it doesn't even hurt or look red or anything, so that's good.

Also, is Benedict going to be in Doctor Who or not? Because I keep seeing things saying he's going to be the Master, but I haven't seen a BBC thing or a real, credible source, and I just want him to be in Doctor Who alright? He'd probably make an excellent Master, but think, he could be a fantastic alien, or COMPANION or alien companion. We haven't had a companion from a different planet or time period in a LONG while. Certainly not in NuWho. What, like, Adric and Nyssa? Fifth Doctor? Is that seriously the last time there was a companion from a different planet? I don't know, last one I remember off the top of my head. Oh, and that chameleon robot guy thing... didn't actually watch that I don't think. We could count Jamie, the Second Doctor's companion who is from the past, since the Sixth Doctor ran into him in the Two Doctors. In conclusion, Jamie was the bestest.

You know, I hadn't actually watched anything Lee Pace was in

Except Pushing Daisies, of course, but not all of that because I suck. But he's famous for The Fall, which I still haven't watched, but it looks lovely on Tumblr. I say all this because I am currently finishing up Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, and it's adorable.

Why do I always end up watching movies that aren't even on my list of things I want to watch? Every time. I make these lists so that I remember that these are things people talk about or that look good, but then when I go to watch things it's something random that I saw one reference to once so I decide to watch it. For Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day it was the quote about needing the ice pick for murder, not ice.

SIMILARLY, not really but it reminded me, I was talking to a girl in my English class, because I do that, I'm sociable, and we were talking about the story, and I told her that the moment where the woman in the story went to the store to buy arsenic was the moment when I decided I liked the story because I happen to love arsenic. She thought she had misheard me, because she thought I said that I loved arsenic, and I do. I happen to really like arsenic, it's my fave.

Um, my ankle is leaking... is this normal?

Also, should I be more careful about my opinions and stuff I type at 2 in the morning? Because the German commenter yesterday does not like me existing. Seriously though? How the hell do people find this? And why would they care what I say? I do not claim to be a real blogger. MY BACKGROUND IS LITERALLY A RANDOM REPEATING PICTURE OF A ROBIN. I AM JUST THAT QUALITY.