I am totally working, but my Spider Solitaire stats are really sad

I win a little less than half of my Spider Solitaire games, 48%. How sad is that. I think I've gotten bored of it and have stopped trying to think ahead, because it used to be about 60%.

I've done a bunch of work today, but also had a lot of time OH MY GOD THE PHONE IS RINGING

I answered the phone. Don't worry. I was going to say that I had a lot of time to do random stuff online or something, but then the phone rang and I panicked.

I just did an entire order start to finish, from answering the goddamn phone to all the goddamn scary things while on the phone and I ran the credit card and I emailed him the paid invoice and I printed out the UPS label and packaged it up and it's READY TO BE SHIPPED TOMORROW GODDAMMIT. I'm fine.

Don't get me wrong, I do a lot of orders throughout the day, but usually they come from the website and I just print out the orders and do a bunch at a time and there are no phones involved.

Someone just called to ask if the Chlorine Test Strips were really 29.95 like the website said, and then when I assured him they were, he was like "are you sure?" Yes, yes I was sure. And then he mumbled something about 30 cents per strip and hung up. Oh, he wanted to know the model number too for some reason. I don't even know what that means. They're strips of paper, they don't have a model number... oh and he asked if we were a factory. Why do phones exist? (moral of the story, I am not cut out to deal with phones, however, I was very polite to the guy so really it was a successful call)

So I don't feel well, and it's all my fault, what of it?

My heart hurts and my stomach hurts and my head hurts. WHAT, ARE YOU SAYING I SHOULD GO TO BED AND GET SLEEP? WHAT?

I am working on a paper thing. Don't know why, it's not long or overdue, it's just now is the time to finish this up for some reason.

I watched 101 Dalmations. That was fun.

I kind of want to go to bed, but it's so tall, and I also am like, but, I could just write this and then it'd be done.

BUT THEN, I remembered fucking Thursday, and how I have a test taht I'm going to fail and how C is due Friday and how I probably failed my English paper and then the paper I'm writing now is for my Crim class and ALL MY CLASSES ARE GOING TO BE FAILED AND I AM A FAILURE AND OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO BE LIVING IN MICHIGAN FOR THE SUMMER.

Those are not all related ideas. I am panicking a lot more than I need to about all the things. It is because I am ridiculous also, not sleeping.

And there are so many things in the future that I am looking forward to, I just can't think about them and not panic. Like, celebrating Manda's birthday, funtimes, going to Omaha and getting people to buy me food also Berkshire Hathaway stuff or whatever, funtimes, going on a fucking cruise to Alaska, awesomefuntimes probably, going on a helicopter in Alaska, supercoldfuntimes. See, lots of fun times, but before them, all of the panic and a little bit of the shame/fear that I did super poorly in all of my classes.

Remember, hey guys, remember when, remember the good old days, when I was like, a GOOD student?

School started guys

I've been busy.

Mostly I've been busy freaking out and becoming super depressed. Observe:

You only live once - that's one too many times.
Live every day like it's  your last - it's good to have some hope.
Believe in yourself - if those stupid people over there can survive so can you.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life - and is one day closer to death.
It's the little things in life - fuck the police.

That last one kind of broke the mold, but am I bothered? No, and you know why? Apathy.

Ok so life, it sucks

I drove to the Grand Floridian today because I am deployed and was working at the Grand Floridian and I drove into a one way thing and then backed into an intersection and then I freaked out and then I parked and then I walked towards the Grand and asked a random chef person where the cast entrance was and then random chef person helped me find the Merchandise people and then I wore my hot jacket all day and had panic attacks and my legs hurt and life sucks.

I don't work Monday or Tuesday. I want to run away.

There were frogs. Lots of frogs. They sound really creepy when it's dark and you don't really know where you're walking. I'm pretty sure the frogs were saying my name. Creepers.

WTF IS THIS EVEN

Today was not the best day. Today was a strange day.

There were lots of people today. It is ESPN weekends so we have lots and lots of people, and two nights ago they decided to put in a new operating system on our registers, and like all new Windows OSs, they crash all the time. Shoot me now.

So, today I was yelled at, scoffed at, hit on, pestered, praised profusely for being a genius, stared at with confusion, and talked to in a foreign language that I don't know why they expected me to understand. What even is this place?

Oh, and next week my online schedule says I don't work all week, but in the Communications room at work it says I am being freaking deployed somewhere. I don't know where. BW, wherever that is, and I'm freaking out. I have to get a new costume and go somewhere else and work for a week and what and weepzilopochtli.

I actually said weepzilopochtli today in front of my new friend Allie. Don't worry, she knows how "normal" I am. She actually just ignored it.

We like Allie. She is nice and she drives me home when we both close. No te procupes, Christine, she is not going to replace you. I know how you worry about these things. She has a boyfriend, so obviously she is nothing like me.

BW, BOARDWALK, IT'S PROBABLY BOARDWALK, WHAT IS THIS MADNESS, I'M GOING TO DIE.

On the bright side, on the 15th I get to go on a behind the scenes tour of Expedition Everest before the park opens where we get to walk on the tracks and everything. I'm betting we probably get to ride it first too, as like, test dummies. That would be awesome. Well, it's going to be awesome.

Can you get high off of cough drops or something? Cause this guy, like our age, came in and bought two packs of cough drops, and then a couple hours later came back and bought the exact same two packs again. Why does he need four packs of cough drops, two of mint and two of cherry? Why, I ask you, why?